Looking Back on the War – Humor

Pacific Paratrooper received a request for a humorous post, from Equipsblog, after all the tissues I caused her to use in the previous posts –  so here’s what I came up with on short notice – hope you all like the stories – I’m sure some of you have stories from your relatives too – feel free to add them!!!

 

Zuit suit craze

I’VE GOT URGES FOR SERGES
I’ve gotta passion for fashion,
I’ve gotta run on fun,
‘Cause I’m Ten million new civilian
Ex-G.I.’s in one.
I’ve got urges for serges,
I’ve gotta need for tweed;
I’ll put the smile in a world of stylin’
No War Department decreed.
I’ll be the zoot-suit-suitor,
I’ll be the rainbow beau,
I’ll be the luminous,
Most voluminous,
Viva-Truman-ous-
Leader of the Freedom Show.
Long I’ve thirsted for worsted;
Ain’t I the plaid-glad lad?
Open the haberdash!
Here comes a color-flash!Here comes the post-war fad!
– Cpl. R. CHARLES

India

scrub brush business

They’re telling the story around New Delhi about a certain G.I. building supervisor who recently had a bit of trouble with his 19 Indian employees. Seems that one evening towards closing time, the G.I. bossman discovered that someone had made off with 12 of his good scrub brushes. He promptly called his staff together. “None of you guys leaves here ’til you bring back those brushes,” he ordered. The Indians thought it over for a moment, then scattered. A few minutes later, they reported back, each carrying a brush. Only 12 brushes lost. Nineteen returned. That’s good business.

______ September 1945, C.B.I. Roundup newspaper

Marine Raider Battalion, Makin Island
“One of the many BAR (Browning Automatic Rifle) men we had, damn fool, was loading his weapon and cranked off about a three-round shot, and that woke every Jap up that was in the South Pacific, and from then on, all hell broke loose … Well, the whom damn command situation broke down the minute the firing started,” says Carson. “None of the people there outside of a couple of sergeants that had fought in the civil war in Spain, none of them had any war experience, and so it kind of turned out to be everybody for himself and the devil for the hindmost and it was an unorthodox battle. And it was my first battle, so I had nothing to compare it to, and I got to thinking if this is an organized war, we’re in a hell of a shape.”

U.S. Navy, off Attu Island
David Lake was in charge of Mount Two of the 5-inch guns on USS Pennsylvania. The ship was among those sent to the waters off Alaska to aid in re-capturing islands there that had been occupied by Japanese troops.

“It was pretty darn cold up there, too. I stood my watches on Mount Two all the time … And we bombarded Attu and it got cold up there, I kid you not. The ice inside them guns mounts, you’d fire them and that ice would fly everywhere. ”

The one who served in Africa

Gen. Patton

“I was a private, a tank driver. Anyways, I was sitting by the side of my tank, reading a newspaper and just relaxing. All of a sudden I felt a horrible itch when I breathed out…and the normal human reaction? I picked my nose. Half-way through the nose picking, a shadow fell over me. I looked up with my finger stuck full up my nose. General Patton…standing over me…with a bunch of Army planners and such. I slowly started to take my finger out of my nose. “Soldier, did I give you an order to take your finger from your nose?” He asked. I, of course, gave him a full blown no sir, which sounded very high pitch. “Carry on soldier, and hunt that booger down.” He then walked off, with the group of Army people staring at me.

Battle of the Bulge

LOOK OUT BELOW!

In horror I learned that if a man was away from his unit for more than 20 days, starting that day, he would be re-positioned into another unit. I escaped the hospital, and joined up with my unit on the way to the woods. They called me “the cook” for the entire time. I had acquired a blanket, and spread it over the top of a 155mm hole, perfect size of a foxhole to! I soon employed my cooking skills to try and feed the men. But unfortunately, even 30 seconds out in the cold made the food almost frozen. I had cooked white navy beans one night, and it produced the most astonishing gastronomical outbursts anyone has heard. We thought the Germans could zero in on us just because of the noise.

 

 

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More Military Humor –

Future War Stories

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Farewell Salutes – 

Henry Amey – Kalamazoo, MI; US Army, WWII, ETO, 3rd Army

Carl Bengeton – Gary, IN; US Air Force, 8th Air Division

Pasquale Gugluzzi – Palm Beach, FL; US Navy, WWII, USS Solomons

John Hall – Natick, MA; US Merchant Marines / US Navy, WWII, PTO, Midshipman, USS Clay

Robert Ketterer – Pahrump, NV; US Army, WWII, APO

Kelley LaBrash – Dana, CAN; RC Army, WWII

William Murphy Jr. – Pittsburgh, PA; US Army, Korea, Sgt., 101st Airborne Division

Lawrence Rohrwasser – Franklin, WI; US Army, Korea, Co. F/187th RCT (airborne)

Jack Shires – Freer, TX; US Army Air Corps, WWII, PTO, Co. G/511/11th Airborne Division

George Weitner – Snellville, GA; US Army, WWII, ETO

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About GP Cox

Everett Smith served with the Headquarters Company, 187th Regiment, 11th A/B Division during WWII. This site is in tribute to my father, "Smitty." GPCox is a member of the 11th Airborne Association. Member # 4511 and extremely proud of that fact!

Posted on June 24, 2019, in First-hand Accounts, Home Front, WWII and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 104 Comments.

  1. The cartoons with your posts are to die for. The future war story made me ROFL.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Certainly raised a smile on each one.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I loved the brush story!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’ve got to laugh! Great 😂
    So much analysing now without the laughter, when a situation is SO serious like war it’s good that people’s sense of humour and the ridiculous comes out on top.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Patton … aaaah … you really sure he wasn’t just on loan from the British?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That cartoon of the future war stories is hilarious! And I enjoyed the first poem. It’s been a while since I thought of serge. I’m pretty sure that’s what our high school band uniforms were made of, although I’ve tried to erase the memory from my mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Loved all the humorous stories–especially the one from India. My father would have loved this.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Laughter really is the best medicine, GP. Thanks for this humor post, because I surely needed a dose. The bean story made me snort. LOL.
    By the way, I’m giving you a shout out with Brother Love, Chapter 10. I know you didn’t mean “earthly bonds” to be a “thing” when you commented that many weeks ago, but it’s perfect for this story. Hugs on the wing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Terrific, I remember when I wrote it. I don’t know where those sorts of phrases come from, but every once in a while I think I’m channeling my father – he was a pretty good writer.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. For years I used to read “Humor in Uniform” in Reader’s Digest. Not sure that’s in there anymore, but there was no shortage of humor.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you for the humor! We all need a bit! Big Hugs ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  11. My favorite is the cartoon at the end!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you for the very interesting collection, GP! Sometimes “war humour” is very special too. Sorry, i cant provide any story from my ancestors, because my both grandfathers never ever told something about. ;-( Best wishes, Michael

    Liked by 1 person

  13. That was different mate, I could see the humour in those story’s, must be millions of story’s out there secreted in aging minds and memories gp.

    Like

  14. Some good stories here. My father’s only tale from WWII was told against himself – he was a driver bringing groups of other soldiers to the coast at Dunkirk, and had to travel to England on a leaky fishing boat when he couldn’t swim

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Love the stories!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. George McDonald Fraser wrote a series of gut-busting tales that may interest you, including The Complete MacAuslan, The General Danced at Dawn, and The Flashman Papers. The first two from his own WW II experiences. Altogether, great entertainment on the order of the stories printed here today. Semper Fi.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Always like these personal stories.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Unrelated but I wanted to share this story with you GP…such a tear jerker!!

    Like

  19. HA! Well you should never disobey Patton! What a good round up of stories hahaha. Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  20. These were great. Thank you, GP. My uncle told me a story of my dad returning from a mission. There was supposed to be radio silence, but as bombing group navigator he had to get a final fix on the aircraft carrier. To do this a short message was sent and returned One time my dad sang “mares eat, does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy” to raise the ship. A stern voice came over the airwaves identifying itself as a commander and instructing my dad to knock off the hijinks. Having the fix my dad sang back, mares eat oats, does eat oats and I’m a commander too.” My dad was a lieutenant but nothing else was said.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Full-blast laughs – thank you, GP! The zuit suit poem and the Dunkin Donut tank got me, as well as General Patton “carry on” order.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I have to admit, your title grabbed me. What could be humorous at a world war? And then I read the poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Thanks for the smiles, GP. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  24. That story about Gen Patton is a killer. I could just see him saying that. Thanks for the share.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Those beans! Thanks for ‘the lighter side’.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Great idea to focus on humorous stories every once in awhile!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Reblogged this on e-Quips and commented:
    GP of the always informative and well-written Pacific Paratrooper answered my plea for a humorous post after several poignant posts that put something in my eyes for a few days. Enjoy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do appreciate you sharing this site. Thanks to you, many readers are getting a reprieve from war and all that goes with it. I hadn’t realized it had been so long since my last funny one.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. You are my Blogger Hero of the Day, GP. Thanks for the hilarious funnies and the plug. I will reblog this on eQuipsblog today. You Da Man. Two generals were walking down a hallway discussing whether making love to their wives was a job or a joy. They could not come to an agreement and stopped before a PFC who was scrubbing the hallways. “Son, is making love to your wife, a joy or a job?” The PFC immediately responded, “It must be a joy because if it was a job, you’d have some enlisted man doing it for you.”

    Liked by 1 person

  29. The Cyber wars have been a reality for some time now; the cartoon, while a good piece of satire, could become more truth then fiction.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. It is good to put a lighter article from time to time; I enjoyed this!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. 🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍👏👏👏💕💕Thank you for laughs

    Liked by 1 person

  32. LOL 😂 with the “Future War Stories”!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. You must be reading my mind because as I was cleaning some boxes yesterday, I saw this from a clipping I have from The American Legion Magazine Feb. 2004:
    With his platoon at attention, the drill instructor yelled, “All right! All you dummies fall out.” As the rest of the recruits walked away, one man remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with the man, raising just a single eyebrow. The recruit smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ’em, huh, sir?”

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Good to start the week!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. It says a lot about the human spirit that people can laugh about war. I guess they must.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Thanks for the nice light start to the week, GP. I love the cartoon with the adverts on the tank. We may not be far from that.

    Liked by 2 people

  37. No tissues today! Yay!

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Great stories, GP. I especially liked the ‘future’ story! 🙂
    As for clothing, my Dad was given a ‘De-Mob’ suit when he finally left the Army. His suit was so well-made, he wore it for many years after.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demob_suit
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Ha ha ha was the booger found?

    Liked by 2 people

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